Defeat Evil - Love Someone You Don't Like

Yet another mass shooting... this time Orlando, in my home state. And the rhetoric on my Facebook newsfeed is the same as every other time - regulate guns!! ban Muslims!! Obama sucks! And I find myself unable to get behind any of these things this time. Banning a whole group of people is unreasonable and hateful. Eliminating assault rifles seems like a great idea and may be a good step but I think to myself "People who want to kill will find a way to kill" - i.e. boxcutters and airplanes or fertilizer. After a few inspirational posts and at least one argument, I came to a realization - the only real way to stop the violence is to stop the underlying cause - evil.

Yeah, I know what some of you will say - evil? really? That's where she's going with this? Yeah - evil. For those of us who are religious, we recognize there is an actual evil in the world. For those who are not so into the metaphysical, I can boil evil down to a part of the brain that activates before aggressive behavior as this article points out - hey Science! And one day maybe scientists will even find a way to control this part of our brain but, until then, we need to fight and defeat evil however we can to stop these atrocities in our world. And that's what I want to write about. I'm thinking about blogging regularly about ways we can fight and defeat evil. Maybe this will just be one post. Maybe I'll get tired of it after a while but if I'm good, I'll keep it up and maybe help myself and others to make this a better world.


My first topic - love. Love is of course the one thing that has been said over millennia will defeat evil. But, is this too simplistic? Many would say yes but I think if we took love to its extreme, we would see a vast difference in our society.

Of course it's easy to love those we already care about: family, friends, even some coworkers and acquaintances. But, to defeat evil, we will need to go far beyond this. We will need to somehow, some way, love those we don't like. If everyone had a modicum of love for every single individual in the world, we would not kill each other or steal from each other or cheat each other, or...

Too idealistic? Probably but it's in the quest that victory over evil is attained. Too hard? Could be but Christians have been teaching this for 2000 years, Muslims since Muhammad, and Jews long before that so there must be something to it. Even the 60's Love children have been telling us for at least decades that "Love is all you need". So how do we do that? How do we actually love someone we don't even like or who hates us or wants to hurt us?

Love is an action word - it's not just a feeling. If you limit love to a feeling, it's only good for one person- you. But if you project that love outward through actions towards others then it benefits you and your target. So I say act in love toward someone you don't like, even if you're not feeling it. This is the hard part! At first it doesn't have to be something that person sees, if you're worried about backlash. Start with simply thinking nice thoughts about that person, identifying good things about them. If you're religious, say a prayer for them and especially about caring more about them.

Then, when you're ready, write something down, maybe a note you may or may not give to them, maybe just your thoughts about them - caring thoughts of course. Even if you don't do something yet that directly affects them, you will likely begin to feel a softening for them. This is the beginning of love. Sometimes it takes some time and practice but you will feel something positive for them. Ok, maybe start with an easier target if the first one you choose isn't working.

But, eventually you will see an opportunity to actually show something positive toward that person you don't like, a simple smile, a wave, a way to help them in some small way - it doesn't matter. But find something that starts to foster nicer feelings between the two of you. And then do what you can to help that to grow into a brotherly or sisterly love for that person.

Can we agree that if Omar Mateen had done this for the people in that night club (we already know he went there several times) he may have taken a different course? What if someone in that night club had done this for him - befriended him? What if each of us does this with one person at a time in our lives? Could we maybe make a difference in our life and theirs? I can't say we will prevent the next disaster with this alone but it's a start.

Love someone you don't like. And then Love someone else you don't like. This is how we start to knit ourselves together as a human race that cares about each other and fosters the one thing that can defeat evil - love!

Quotes about Love conquering Evil:

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”

- Jesus Christ

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

"All you need is Love"

― John Lennon

“I hope that real love and truth are stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world.”
― Charles Dickens

“Cruelty and wrong are not the greatest forces in the world. There is nothing eternal in them. Only love is eternal.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael

“The actual, expanded consciousness, reality of our planet is that all of life is LOVE; our very existence is LOVE. Everything that exists is just varying degrees of this LOVE; polar absolutes do not exist. Good versus evil is pure illusion. Even the most seemingly “negative” person with ill intent is still in the spectrum of love.”
― Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace

Person-hood granted to corps but still not to some humans

When I realized this, I just thought "How DARE they". They have granted person-hood status and rights to corporations, but are still denying them to unborn humans. This is just inconceivable to me!

There has been a long-standing debate about whether a fetus is a living human or not and therefore whether or not they should have actual human rights - such as the right to life. But now, according to the Supreme Court who just last week granted free speech rights to corporations, these entities have a status higher than that of fetuses.

The debate is still being waged about the unborn being human but certainly there can be no debate that they are more human than corporations. Let's make a few comparisons, but first we must remember that a corporation is not the people that run the corporation - it is simply an entity created in the ether.

1. Physical attributes - Human fetuses have human DNA, unique and distinct from their parents. How about the corporation? Does it even have DNA? Human fetuses also have heartbeats, blood, organs, a brain, and senses while corporations have none of these things - they don't resemble humans in any way. Yet, somehow they have the right to free speech? Wait, where are their mouths? Oh yeah - they don't have them so their "speech" is actually money - at least according to the Court.

2. Life - Even at the earliest stages, a zygote multiplies its cells, takes nutrients from her mother and grows. One could argue that a corporation has life - that it grows, it feeds off of its employees and managers and that it multiplies (just take a look at any corporate hierarchy - there can be TONS of entities bred by the original) - but the corporation could do none of these things without the humans running it. Sure, the argument here is that without the mother, the fetus dies - but eventually, she can live on her own - this can never happen with a corporation. I think this is the definition of parasite, isn't it?

3. Potential - Corporations have some potential - to grow, and make money. But a human fetus has so much more potential than that. A human fetus will one day feel pain, love others, taste great meals, serve those around him, LEARN! These things make us truly human and add art, music, science and spirituality to the world. Corporations? No.

Last Friday, January 22nd was the 37th anniversary of another Supreme Court decision that took away a fundamental right from this underrepresented group of people. Roe vs. Wade is now famous, or as I see it notorious. It was bad enough that the court ruled that one set of humans' right to live should be supplanted by another group's right to choose (really right to privacy). Though we continue this debate, now and obviously I disagree with that decision in 1973, at least we were favoring humans over other humans. At least there is some debate.

But this decision last week just adds insult to injury. Even in the face of all of the scientific evidence, humanity continues to deny basic rights to this vulnerable group of people who are completely subject to our will. While we have been tasked in this life to nurture and care for our children, this has been denied to the youngest and weakest of them, yet we are content to allow (or at least remain quiet about allowing) the court to give basic human rights to something not remotely human.

Wake up, everyone - if this isn't turning wrong into right - what is?

Corporations are now human? Really??

Rarely, do I get so incensed by something political that is not a moral issue for me. But, yesterday, I was struck dumbfounded by the Supreme Court's decision to grant rights of free speech to corporations, by allowing them to now give freely and with virtually no limits to political campaigns. This is just another piece of evidence that the adversary is convincing us that right is wrong and wrong is right! Our world is being turned upside down, and it's happening right in front of us.

Of course my first and biggest argument is that these entities are not people. They don't have DNA - they are just signatures on paper. They have only one purpose - to make and increase profits. And, of themselves, they have no conscience. Individuals may act in selfish ways and some may seem to not have a conscience but corporate entities, by their very nature, are solely self-serving and have no feelings telling them right from wrong.

You may say that because these entities are created and run by people that they must have similar characteristics, and the people running them have consciences, so they have the ability to choose to act for good or bad. But, I believe that when acting on behalf of a corporation the saying is true: "it's just business," and that justifies many evils that will protect the corporation, and thus the corporation protects the people making the decisions. Managers at companies are beholden to the stockholders and boards of directors and, unless they are willing to lose their jobs and the high salaries and bonuses that go along with them, they have no choice but to do whatever they can to increase profits.

Now, I need to be careful here because I work for a corporation. And, I have to say that I actually very much like and admire my particular corporation and its executives. Yes, I can hear you say it under your breath - "brown noser!" - but it's true. I know a few of these people, personally and they are good, honest people, and I believe they run this corporation on as high of a moral ground as they possibly can. But, the nature of the beast still insists that they make money for the company, literally putting every other ideal second.

My point is that people are people - they have votes, consciences and true abilities to serve, while corporations do not. Granted, that now the flood gates have been opened, I am sure corporations will buy enough politicians so that possibly they can have votes one day. And maybe this will lead to religious organizations and other tabooed entities having the ability to give to their political causes with impunity.

So, the consequences of yesterday's decision are dire. I had to agree with Keith Olberman, last night (WHAT??). He compared this decision to the Dred Scott decision, which led us to civil war. I think he has a good point. Here's part 1 of his rant, which also gives his forecast of our future: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72ZwG5vQ_04

This world is about people and we have just given it over to corporations. Yes, they already had their roundabout ways of contributing through 501cs and covert loophole jumping but now the court has given them permission to take over our world.

One last point of evidence that this act by the court is wrong, wrong wrong! (I will expound on this more another time.) Now these non-human, paper entities have actual human rights, while unborn humans, with true human DNA, do not even have the right to live. Again we have been convinced that right is wrong and wrong is right. The adversary is at work here folks - don't be fooled by the politics of the day.

For more on this - see my hubby Andy's blog where he makes very astute comparisons. He's a much better writer, too! http://woodlandshoppersparadise.blogspot.com/2010/01/we-made-it-can-we-unmake-it.html

My extreme leftist/righty political view

I thought I'd take a moment to try to explain my political views, which seem confusing to some. People on the right - like my hard-core republican boss- think I'm a total liberal, while people on the left- like my husband- think I'm a right-wing nutcake.

The truth is I really am extreme on both sides, depending on the issue.

Socially, I'm very conservative. I believe life begins at conception and a woman's right to choose does NOT override the baby's right to live. The baby in-utero absolutely has every right that the same baby has as soon as it emerges from the womb. As you all probably know, I was pro- prop-8, as well. Most other social issues - I'm gonna go the same way, because for me they are all spiritual issues and the rules are actually made by God, not man.

However, on the issues of government and finance, I am quite liberal. While capitalism is the way of our country, it doesn't work for everyone and those who are disadvantaged by the system must be helped so they can help themselves - not as handouts to live off the government and promote laziness, but so that they can become self-reliant and, in turn contribute to society and the less-fortunate. Some, who can never be self-reliant like the mentally handicapped should be helped on a more permanent basis - it is our responsibility as humans to care for each other this way. I also believe that government is for our benefit and if we want it to do certain things for us and the less-fortunate, we need to pay for it - taxes.

I do think the rich should pay more in taxes so the poorer people can get the help they need. I look forward to the day when I can pay more in taxes because I'm fabulously wealthy! Obviously, I have no problem with people having money - but they shouldn't hoard it and once you have enough to live comfortably - even luxuriously the rest of your life, share the rest. You don't need it and you could probably never spend it, anyway. Your kids would be better off working out their own fortunes, anyway. These ideals also come from my religious beliefs - love one another, feed my sheep and the other examples Christ set. And, I believe a rising tide really should raise all ships, not just the yachts.

So, it's not so confusing when you think about it - it's common sense to me and it fits perfectly with what I've been taught all my life. It's based on Christ and his great example. It's also based on many values coming from the left- tolerance, caring and idealism - we can be better and we absolutely should be the best we can be.

Mormons' support of Proposition 8

To all those thinking the Mormon church should be taxed, hurt or otherwise punished for its members support of Proposition 8:

1. Mormons make up less than 2% of the population of California . There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.

2. Mormon voters were less than 5% of the yes vote. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6% of the Yes vote and 2.4% of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon church) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the Church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8.

7. African Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70% of Black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8.

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims - all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California . Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or her self. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The Church did not violate the principal of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . ." The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process, to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The Church has always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak out on an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support, and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair, and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars, and worse. The fact is, we simply did what Americans do - we spoke up, we campaigned, and we voted.


Written by a member in the Newbury Park area.

Election Post-Mortem

I find it hard to describe how I feel about life, today. I am calm, tired and at peace, I guess. Basically, I feel the lightness of me now that the weight of the campaign is off my shoulders. I can enjoy life again.

In fact, I don't even really want to write this but feel I should as a remembrance for myself. As Andy says, "It's the gift I give myself" for the future. It was a very momentous time for me and the country.

I was really enjoying the election season - two great candidates, exciting debates, public energy at the thought of really good change coming- no matter which candidate won, in my opinion. I think both John McCain and Barak Obama are very competent and smart guys. It was fun to sit back each night and watch the activities of the day from both sides and hear the commentary from the pundits.

Then, I got the assignment to run the local Yes on Prop 8 campaign (the one man one woman marriage amendment) and my entire view of the season changed. Now I had big responsibilities, that other people really didn't want, and I don't blame them a bit. I had to gather volunteers, coordinate a ton of activities, including phone calls, distributing yard signs, redistributing them daily after they'd been stolen, sign-waving rallies on street corners and a myriad of other things.

While I am very strong in my conviction on this issue, I didn't know where everyone I knew stood on it. It was not fun figuring it out since it's such a divisive issue and I do NOT like confronting people on them when there's a possibility I could get "rejected", lose a friend or even have mean words said to me. I'm actually quite sensitive and my main goal in life is for everyone to like me so this was hard for me. But, I manned-up and did what I could and slowly but surely I had a small contingency of volunteers (thanks to the help of some others who aren't as afraid as I am) and we were making calls, having phone banks, passing around email news and waving signs together.

With my group of supporters, I felt really positive and energetic. But, by myself, I still felt those pangs of fear that people I cared about would disown me. It almost happened once and I am so very grateful that we are still friends and can hopefully move past this. I did get plenty of swear words, birds shot at me and really mean words of response to things I wrote to the paper or online. Those things were easier to deal with because, for the most part, I don't know those people and will probably never have to face them.

Anyway, it is now over and regardless of the result - I am glad it is over. I am still reading a few news stories just to see what's happening and what will happen next but otherwise - I am avoiding the topic as much as possible.

Now, I want to bask. Bask in the lightness and the change that is coming to our country. I am so very excited that Barak Obama will be our President. While John McCain is truly a great man and would have made a good president, Obama is truly inspiring, to me and many others and I think that unity really is what our country needs right now. We have been so divided for so long that we must pull together to accomplish real good for ourselves and the world. I believe Obama is the one that can do that.

So, tonight I'm going to watch the news of what happened, today - who Obama is thinking about for Secretary of this or that, the implications of his election and all the positive things that we have to look forward to. We really do live in a great country where great things can happen and great people can be president. And, now I can enjoy it again.

Thank you to all those who supported me in the last 2 months - especially my wonderful husband Andy who, even though disagrees with me on this issue, stood up for me, allowed me time and space to accomplish my task and even went on a stakeout with me to protect our signs. He's the best husband ever!

My Proposition 8 Op-Ed

Amidst the frenzied emotional opposition to Proposition 8, I’d like to make a rational argument to vote yes on this constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman.

First, I’d like to dispel some myths. Proposition 8 wouldn’t take away any rights from same-sex couples. According to California’s domestic partnership laws, same-sex couples are given every right that opposite-sex couples have. See Family Code section 297-297.5. This includes visitation rights, divorce, probate and medical and other benefits.

Also, those opposed to Proposition 8 purport that gay marriage would not affect anyone but the same-sex couple. However, since the legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts and the introduction of civil unions in other states, a plethora of lawsuits have been filed against religious-based organizations for discriminating against gay couples because they refused service to them based on their religious beliefs. “When Gay Rights and Religious Liberties Clash” by Barbara Bradley Hagerty on NPR.org cites several cases won by gay couples forcing adoption agencies, churches and parochial schools to either go against their beliefs or close their doors. This is a violation of their constitutional religious rights as guaranteed by the first amendment. This could and probably will happen in California if Proposition 8 fails.

Another consequence would be the teaching of children about same-sex marriage in school as early as kindergarten. The opposition would tell you that saying this is an exaggeration but, the education code section 51890 requires public schools to instruct children as early as kindergarten about marriage. If Proposition 8 fails, teachers will have little choice but to teach that same-sex marriage is the same as traditional marriage – or face complaints or even lawsuits. This takes away parents’ rights to teach this issue to their children the way they see fit.

Another issue is who decides the law? In 2000, 61% of Californian’s voted to maintain the traditional definition of marriage through Proposition 22. Unfortunately, this was simply a change to the family code. So, earlier this year, four activist judges from San Francisco were able to overturn the will of the people. This is why Proposition 8 is on the ballot again, this time as a constitutional amendment. Once it passes, these judges will not be able to overturn it again. The will of the people, not a few left-wing judges, will prevail.

This is not an issue of equality. Same-sex couples already have that. This is an issue of what constitutes a marriage, which has been understood to be an institution between a man and a woman since its introduction thousands of years ago. In an article entitled “Protecting Marriage to Protect Children”(LA Times, Sept. 19, 2008), president of the New York-based Institute for American Values, David Blankenhorn, a self-proclaimed Liberal Democrat, says that marriage is not primarily a license to have sex nor to receive benefits or social recognition, but a license to have children. He says that children have a right, specifically guaranteed by the 1989 U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child, as much as society can make it possible to “know and be cared for” by their biological parents. Gay marriage will always violate that right.

To this, some will argue that in the world today, we have divorce, hetero couples unable to have children and other instances that keep children from being raised by both biological parents. Blankenhorn points out that most time children are denied this right, it is thought of as a tragedy, whereas with gay marriage, this loss of a child’s rights is celebrated.

I urge you to vote yes on Proposition 8 to uphold the will of the people, the rights of children and proper definition of marriage. Those supporting Proposition 8 have no will to lessen the rights of same-sex couples. We, however, must not let them and left-wing judges change what marriage means in our society for the rest of us.

Making the Empty Nest Easier

I'm getting ready to send my only daughter off to college and I'm wrestling with lots of emotions - true excitement for Vienna's upcoming adventures which will surely be awesome for her but also a flood of depression, longing for my lost little girl and anticipation of a great emptiness in the place where my role of mother used to be. One friend described it as the life being sucked out of the house.

And then, I can't help but think about my mom and what she must have went through when she let me fly out of the nest. She never complained but now I know it must have been even worse for her - she was divorced with no one at home but a cat.

I lived with her until I was married at 20 and then moved to Spain with Andy who was in the Navy. As my mom always told it - I ran away with a sailor. But, as I think about her, now I am overcome with guilt for what I did to her. How could I do THIS to her? How could I leave her, the one person who loved me more than anyone else in the world, with all these horrible feelings?

Why do we do this to our moms? Now, when I think about it more closely, this is a cycle that has been happening for generations - even more so in the last century as the nuclear family has spread out across the country. Kids leave their parents, go off into the world, raise their own kids, only to be left behind in the same way. Some might think this is the way it should be or maybe it's poetic justice. But, I think it's a vicious cycle that doesn't have to be. At least, it doesn't have to be so painful - for the parents or the kids.

Actually, my real motivation is to save my daughter this same pain in the future. I know it sounds selfish but if I could just communicate with her how important to HER it will be to stay in touch, nurture our relationship and make this transition easier, maybe this cycle can be broken. Maybe she wouldn't have to feel the same guilt I feel for my mom and can teach her children the same. Maybe we can just be better to our parents - for our own sakes.

It seems such a small thing but why not make this time of life one of joy and excitement, unencumbered by loneliness and depression? Who knows, maybe this is one of humanity's lessons that we have to learn to evolve to the next level. Well, I say, let's give it a try. Let's teach our kids to nurture their parents through this difficult time, even when they are so focused on starting their new lives. My whole day was brightened by a call from Vienna, just today. See, it just takes a few phone calls, a few emails, a few "I love yous" to uplift the hearts of the people who devoted so much to our growth and to ensure years of joy and love.

My Mom's Last Gift

One of the people I wanted to write about in this blog is my mom. She died in March of last year.
I don't want to go into any detail at all about her death because at first read, it is long, depressing and extremely pointless. My mom suffered quite a bit in her last year and I hated watching her waste away without any ability to really help - being literally across the country. But, I would like to say that having the perspective I have in life - an eternal perspective that I've gained through a strong Mormon background - I know that her death and suffering were not pointless, at all.

When people wonder why bad things happen to good people, I can actually hold my mom's and my experience with her illness up as an example. I know why they happen and it's actually for a good reason. Mom spent her last year in a hospital, unable to get up, communicate or do any of the normal things we take for granted.

When she first went into the hospital, I was called back to Florida to be with her and to help with the doctors and tough decisions. I am her only child, which leaves me "responsible". My grandmother and all my uncles have way more life experience, but the final decisions as to her care were in my hands. That certainly doesn't seem fair and at the time it almost felt ridiculous. Who am I to know how to handle this stuff? I'm just a kid in comparison to the wisdom necessary for this.

I was scared when I took that first long flight home - scared of what she'd look and be like, what would happen while I was there and the great unknown. But, I had one thing going for me. I had the distinct thought that this would be one of the most important educational experiences of my life and I had a choice. I could either wallow in the overwhelming depths of despair that I felt or I could face the next few days or weeks as the learning experience it was and grow with it. On that flight, I chose to stay faithful, make the decisions and handle the situation the best I could - for my mom, my grandma and for myself. I have never regretted that decision because anytime I began to feel overwhelmed again, I could remember why I was doing all this. And, I knew that at the end of it, I would be a better stronger person than I was then -and I was right.

What I didn't know at that point was that not only would I be in FL that first time for 3 weeks with no resolution to my mom's situation but also that it would be a full year and more before I was through the muck of that time - before my mom would be through the muck of her experience only to be released in her passing. She spent that year without the ability to speak because of being on a respirator or write because of her weakness. Though we could talk to her, she had no way of telling us her feelings or what she was going through. She was alone in her thoughts. My uncle often said that she was having her own experience in her own spiritual world, wrestling with God in her own way. And, she was ever-so-patient in that trial.

In March of 2007, came the culmination of all that effort, waiting, fighting and learning - she was alone and unconscious when she passed and I heard via a phone call late at night after having made the last decision of her life - not to have the doctors resuscitate her if she went into another code-red. Had I recognized that they meant it could happen that night, I might have asked them to keep her alive until I got there. But, all that really would have done was eased my own guilt for not being there with her- it wouldn't have made it easier for her. To this day, I'm not sure I did the right thing on that last decision but I think that she had lingered long enough and didn't need to wait any longer. One day, I'll see her again and ask.

Anyway, the great things began to happen after her passing. It's funny how the deepest sadness really can be the most cleansing. I learned that I really appreciate mourning. So many folks don't like funerals or can't handle death but I now understand why we go through those steps and I actually felt honored to be able to give my mom that time of mourning, planning the funeral, preparing a tribute to her and performing the ordinances we all perform for our loved ones.

One of the things we Mormons do for those that pass is to dress them in the special temple clothes for their burial so that they are ready for the resurrection. I've never done this before and it was a bit shocking, very solemn and actually quite beautiful. We consider it the last service we can do for them and I was so honored to be able to participate. It was me, my grandma and 2 other ladies from my mom's ward and we dressed her in the funeral home. It was a very spiritual experience and one which I wouldn't mind doing again. You feel very close to the person you're serving and close to God and the spirit world. In a world like ours where everything is so base and profane, it is wonderful to have things like this to remind us of who we really are and where we come from.

I spent several days planning the funeral and writing an obituary for my mom. The obit in the paper only turned out to be a very few lines - any more would have cost more than we could afford but I used what I wrote on the program for the funeral which I created. I also spent time at the funeral home, picking out her casket and organizing the service and paying for these things (a rant on the death industry is surely in the future of this blog). I also put together a table of pictures and items from her life, including a life-sized color drawing of Goliath that she made several years ago. I was happy to do all of these things to honor my mom and it brought me some joy in that time.

The funeral itself was one of the most beautiful services I have ever been to. I had my uncle Rick do the eulogy. I felt he was the right one because although he and my mom didn't agree on much, he is the only Priesthood holder in the immediate family and I wanted his authority in that spot of the program. My daughter played a gorgeous piano piece by Beethoven that was perfect. I was so overcome with emotion while she played and so filled with the spirit. We then had folks come up and share their feelings and stories about my mom and it was amazing to hear how everyone else was dealing with the situation and to hear things I'd never heard about her.

The most powerful was shared by a man who was the High Priest group leader in her ward. In his role, he felt he had a responsibility to visit my mom occasionally. So, he did about once a month while she was there. None of us in the family knew he was visiting and since my mom couldn't communicate - though she was awake and aware most of the time, she had never been able to tell us, either. He said in his remarks that though he couldn't talk with mom much, he spent time with her and was amazed by the great amount of patience she had in her situation. Patience was a common theme in the service and in her life. He said that he had learned something about patience and dealing with trials from visiting my mom and that he was a better person for having done that. This was what really made me think about why these bad things happen to good people.

If my mom, had not gone through this experience, she never would have had the opportunity to learn and grow in that spiritual world that we can never comprehend. I would never have had the opportunity to deal with these doctors, lawyers, decisions and most importantly emotions that I'd never dealt with before. I certainly am a stronger person than I was before then. My grandma would never have had to learn whatever lessons were hers to learn. And, even this man had an opportunity to grow because of my mom's situation. All these people, her brothers, her friends, my husband and daughter and more that I don't even know of have all become a little bit stronger - a little bit better because my mom went through that.

That is what this life is all about. We have these terrible awful experiences so that we can wrestle with them, so that we can try to figure out what we need to learn from them, so that we can prepare for even more life lessons to come - and ultimately, so that we can prepare for what comes next - after this life. I am ultimately very grateful for the experience I had to go through. I'm even joyful about it now that it's over and I can see the stronger person I am - braver now to take on new challenges I never would have thought about before and much more appreciative of my wonderful mom who sacrificed most of her life to raise me and teach me. In her sickness and death I learned even more from her and for that I'll always be grateful to her and to God.

So, when something horrible is happening in your life - think about what you can learn from it and how it's going to make you a better person after you're through it. It's all for our good. It's all for our learning and it's all because we have a God, a Father above who loves us as we love our own children. He hates to see us suffer but allows those things to happen because He knows what He wants us to be on the other side and knows how to get us there. Have faith in Him and in the trials we experience.

Doctor Who?

Nobody gets it. Well, nobody except my daughter, my mom and a tiny handful of special people. Nobody else gets the magic that is Doctor Who.

Why? I don't know, it's such an amazing television show. A BBC original that started way back in the late 60s, had an incredibly long run - over 20 seasons - and was very popular in Britain. I'm sure it was mainly a kids show but my mom and I watched it faithfully every Saturday night on PBS, usually right after Benny Hill and right before Monty Python's Flying Circus, neither of which my mom let us watch.

Now, BBC has completely revamped Doctor Who and is taping the 4th season. I have carried on the tradition with my daughter, Vienna. She and I just finished watching the 3rd season and were distraught that the season was over.

It is definitely a campy sci-fi with lots of special effects and unbelievable aliens and plotlines. But, it's not about any of that - it's all about the Doctor. He is one of the most complicated characters that I have ever encountered in a TV show. The depth of his personality rivals that of any human I know. The last episode of this season illustrated that to me.

The Doctor is the last of his kind - alone in time and space - and lives much longer than humans so his existence is based on escaping his lonliness. He constantly finds companions to travel with him, who inevitably fall in love with him (usually a platonic love that transcends any affection we are used to) and then eventually has to leave them so as not to be devastated by losing them to decay and death.

In this last episode, he found one of his own - a time lord named the Master who had once been the Doctor's friend but has much longer been his enemy. The Master had become insane and intent on destroying the earth. After torturing the Doctor, keeping him hostage for a year and killing many people, the Doctor had only one thing to say to the Master. "I forgive you". This was defeat to the Master.

And, finally when the Master was shot and faced death, the Doctor told him to regenerate - a trait that time lords have that gives them their longevity. The Doctor was willing to take the Master with him to care for him and be responsible for him. The Master refused realizing that dying was how he could hurt the Doctor the most. When he died, the Doctor just held him weeping for his lost, insane companion.

How many TV heroes have this many facets to their personality? And I haven't even touched on his relationships with his travelling companions and the enemies he defeats on a regular basis. Or his childlike excitement when faced with danger. Or his incredible brilliance or his arrogance, both of which are irresistible. All of these things along with his incredible love for those around him make him, in my opinion, the best, most interesting character in all time and space.

Mr. Smith goes to Washington

My husband, Andy (of Woodland Shopper's Paradise) has been on me to start my own blog for a while. But, until now, I haven't really found anything inspiring enough to write about. Today I saw "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" for the first time. I don't know why I have never seen this movie before but I found it and its main character, Jefferson Smith, to be just about the most inspiring thing I have seen for a long time. Well, at least since my experience with the Seagate Eco Challenge in February.

As many of you already know, Mr. Smith is a small town boys' ranch leader who suddenly gets swept off to D.C. as a state senator. Green and deeply patriotic, his first day in the capital city was awe inspiring for him and, like a child at his first day at Disney World, Smith was entranced by the history, the words etched in stone and the figures of great men who shaped our country into the precious nation of freedom that it is. Watching Smith, I remembered the feelings I've had in our nation's capital and wished that everyone could be as hopeful, innocent and even naive as he was.

Jefferson Smith soon gets engulfed in the nasty politics of greedy men and tries his best to stay optimistic. He believes in our country and in the process of getting things done for the people so he goes to work to make things better. When he is finally overwhelmed by those trying to destroy him, he almost gives up. But, just then, a recently jaded but now hopeful colleague convinces him to keep going - knowing that he's the only one who can defeat the evil influences destroying the promise of America.

With her help, he returns to fight his battle, stronger than ever - and fight he does. He never gives up. I won't spoil the end for you but suffice it to say, he is truly inspirational.



There are few characters or even real people that embody the ideals that I believe make a person great and to which I aspire. Jefferson Smith is one of those - truly optimistic, courageous and idealistic against all odds. Idealists have been derided as silly, naive and not realistic. They are told that things won't change so don't bother. But, Mr. Smith proves that there are things worth fighting for, even if it is a lost cause - in fact, they are the things most worth fighting for according to him.

Most importantly, Mr. Smith embodies integrity. He knows exactly what he believes and lives by that which he believes. Integrity, to me is one of the most important qualifications to being a good human being and watching Mr. Smith shows me a great modern day example of that.

I am one of those who has always known that the world and its people can be better - much better. We have the capacity and we should be fighting for that no matter what the odds. I have met many who think I am too much of a Pollyanna and I have always been happy with that label. Yes, I'm a Pollyanna. Yes, I believe that the world can and should be better and we as members of the human race have the ultimate responsibility for making it better. And, yes I believe that no matter how lost a cause looks, if it's the right thing to do, it's worth fighting for. Most importantly, I try to have integrity. I try to know and act upon what I truly believe.

Mr. Smith, thank you for reminding me and inspiring me again to fight for the little guy, the lost cause - for what I believe. I won't forget.