My Daughter's Wedding

I've been so busy over the last month that I have neglected to take the time to write about this momentous time in my family's life. As a FB blurb said today, my mind felt like a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All. The. Time. And it was GREAT! So, let me back up to about a month ago.

After some key changes in Vienna's and Mike's life (i.e. getting an apartment) it was finally time for them to decide on a date for their wedding. Well, the date was already decided - the year wasn't. October 7th is the only date that Mike would accept - and for such sweetly romantic reasons, I just couldn't complain too much. That happens to be the anniversary of their first date seven years ago and of the day Mike asked her to marry him two years ago. So, it would either be October 7th of this year or next year. Well, they took a little bit more time to decide and so a month or so ago when I pressed the issue, Vienna decided on 2014. Ok, fine, I can wait. It wasn't my preference but at least I can invite everyone in the world and make huge plans because I'll have plenty of time. Well, no... she said they really just wanted a very small wedding with immediate family and close friends, only. "Gaaaah!! You're killing me!" was my text response. Thankfully, after a more reasoned response on my part, it became clear that if we were to have such a small wedding, we could certainly pull it off in a month. Yay - Agreed!!

So we set about spreading the news and sending save-the-date emails. The theme would be Japanese, because the couple loves sushi and that was what they ate on their first date, and the colors would be red, black and white - a stunning combination, I think. It would be in a small chapel because Mike has always had his idea of a perfect wedding in a chapel (so sweet!) and there would be karaoke.

Unfortunately, because of the shortened timeline, most of our out-of-town friends and family were unable to come. This will always be my biggest regret of the event, that I couldn't convince bosses, buy plane tickets and fix family issues to get everyone I love here for the big event. And boy did I try to make up for it! I took video and even tried to do a group skype so some could see the ceremony but that failed epically. I'm still sad about it but hope to make up for it to all our friends and family in the future.

Over the next 4 weeks, we prepared. Vienna picked out a gorgeous dress the next weekend. I started making dozens of origami swans and butterflies while Andy folded flower petals and Vienna worked on cranes. Since Oct. 7th is a Monday this year, there was no problem booking the lovely chapel in La Selva Beach or the Karaoke room at I Love Sushi in Santa Cruz. Things immediately began falling into place easily which told me that this was all meant to be. God wanted it to happen and so was going to help us make it happen.

About a week or so into my month of joy and planning, I realized I needed to put on a bridal shower. This was going to be the time when I would invite everyone and their mothers to celebrate with me! I think I was as excited about the shower as I was the wedding itself! I had food to plan for both events, games to prepare and I would schedule the shower just 2 days before the ceremony so that I could use the same decorations and consolidate all the fun to one long weekend.

Everyone I spoke to was shocked that we thought we could pull this off in so short a time. But it wasn't too hard at all. And, none of us have a ton of money to spend on a wedding so we were keeping it cost-effective to say the least. The Origami flowers really helped with that. The venues were inexpensive and the food would not be cheap, but it also would not be extravagant and with only about 20 people planned to attend, the cost could be kept low. The only things anyone was going to put a larger amount on were the dress and the photography and I think we got really good deals on both of those. Mike's mom Lori felt the dress was a high priority and so was generous enough to make that her contribution to the wedding - thank you, Lori! I, myself think photography MUST be done well and professionally and since Andy and I, the resident photographers, were going to be busy being dad and mom of the bride, a good professional was definitely my preference. (See my own sad wedding photos for proof of why I find this to be so important).

The big weekend arrived and I was stoked. I took Friday off to do all my running around and last-minute planning. I decided to surprise Vienna with an Arch for the ceremony. She had expressed that she wanted one but didn't think it would happen. I made it my job to make it happen! I rented one for just $35 at Alexis rentals in Santa Cruz, along with some pipes and drapes to shield the bride in the chapel while she readied herself for the aisle (another $25), but when I arrived, I found that even with them broken down into smaller parts, there was no way they would fit in my Nissan Acura. Surprisingly, this was my first real problem - what was I to do? Well, I paid for them and then told the warehouse guys that I'd have to pick them up on Monday, not knowing how exactly I was going to do that but I knew I'd figure it out. So, that's when Lori and her husband Kenny came to my rescue! They were so kind to agree to pick them up in their SUV in the morning and drop them off at the chapel - thanks again, guys!!

Other than that, I had a great Friday, running around, coordinating, ordering food, thrift shopping for material to decorate with and getting things done. I love that super-productive feeling and after this and helping with the church Luau a month or so ago, I think I'd love being a party planner. But, that would only be my tenth great idea for a career change that I simply can't manage.


  Saturday - Bridal Shower day!! I spent most of the day finishing up some origami flowers, arranging them in vases that I got from the thrift store the day before with beans serving as stabilizers for the floppy flowers and finalizing the details for the shindig at 5:00. We had the shower at my friend Ruth Kaspar's home who lives up on a high hill overlooking the rest of Santa Cruz and the bay. It's a gorgeous house with an amazing view and it was perfect - thank you, Ruth!!


I got there at 4 so I could decorate and get the place ready. Vienna arrived just around 5 but before others got there and she brought her dress so that we could show it off to everyone. We ate Sushi from Rumble Fish in Scotts Valley, my favorite sushi place, onigiri, lovingly made by Hannah Seegmiller (thank you!) and wonderful sides and desserts that the other ladies brought. Everything was awesome. Oh and we also had some ice cream mochi, a yummy Japanese dessert contributed by Kathy and Jessica Kernan - thank you ladies! We ate and visited for about an hour or so and then it was time to play some games.

In the other room, with the dress as the main decor, we sat around and the first activity was simply an introduction around the circle so everyone could get to know everyone else. This turned out to be a lovely time when people said such nice things about Vienna and showed her how much they love her. I thoroughly enjoyed that. The next game was Two Truths and a Lie. The ladies got a handout with several sets of "facts". In each were two truths and one lie and they needed to choose which they thought was the lie. It was so much fun discovering interesting and unique facts about the couple. The maid-of-honor, Alexis won with missing only 4. Figures she would know them best. (Lori and I exempted ourselves because we didn't want it to be unfair.)

Next up was the Newlywed Game - or really in this case the almost married game, but you get the idea. For this I had a special video guest - Mike! I interviewed him a week before and asked him 20 questions about himself and Vienna and so, through his video he was able to tell if Vienna could guess all the same answers. It was such fun seeing him there and letting everyone who hasn't met him get to know him a little bit. Vienna did well but not perfect. There were a few questions she missed. But, it was a lot of fun. And two ladies guessed correctly how many Vienna would get right.

Finally, we did  what I call an Advice Round Robin. I gave each lady a card to write down one piece of advice for Vienna. So, now was the time that we would go around and have everyone read their advice. Several had more than one piece of advice but we kept it to reading just one. Again, it was a lovely time to express ourselves and let Vienna in on how we each keep our relationships strong. I loved it and loved all the advice Vienna got. She took home the cards but I want to make some sort of book out of them so she can keep them. That was it for the shower. After that we mingled a bit more, cleaned up and went home. Vienna had a lovely time and reconnected with some old friends. She was the bell of the ball as everyone flocked to her to get a bit of time with the guest of honor.

Sunday, we kinda rested. I worked a little more on flowers, fixing up the bouquets which I wasn't satisfied with and discussing some final details with Vienna but otherwise it was the calm before the storm.

The big day!! Monday, October 7th, 2013 will always be one of the very best days of my entire life.  It was filled from beginning to end with driving to and fro, packing and unpacking boxes of decorations and celebrating the best time in my daughter's life. In the morning, I started off by meeting Lori and Kenny at the church to deliver the arch and pipe/drapes. I put out a few decorations just to get the feel of it and then on the way home, stopped for a witches' hat at the local Halloween store (I'll get to that in a bit) and then at I Love Sushi to set up the tables the way I wanted, put out table cloths and do any other things I could at that point.

Andy, Vienna and I got to the church by 2:30 where we started the decorations and where we discovered that one of our tires had an audible leak. Thank you, Andy for taking the initiative to go get that changed even while in your suit! Decorations were done on time by 3:30 but most of the wedding party had not yet arrived for the rehearsal, including the groom.  It was maybe 10 minutes or so before they all got there which put us a little behind but that's to be expected.

The rehearsal went well with no snags. Everyone understood what to do and so then it was time for Vienna to hide away in her dressing room while the boys went back to the apartment to get dressed. This next couple of hours was quite filled with me running around, trying to do a skype, get dressed and help Vienna with whatever she needed. Lori, thankfully had her makeup and hair in hand so I could concentrate on being mother of the bride. We did successfully skype two of my friends in individually so they could say hi to Vienna, ask questions and meet Mike and some of the others in the wedding party. That really was fun to do and I hope that Mary and Michelle and their families enjoyed it as much as I did. We couldn't get the group thing going and poor Geni, Andy's step-mom, couldn't come in at all. Still sad about that.

 



I had such fun being the one to lace up Vienna's dress in the back. I didn't expect to do that but I loved it and hopefully Ashton, our photographer got some good shots of that. Yes, he was running around for a couple of hours before the ceremony getting lots of pictures of shoes, makeup application, the chapel and decorations and then the boys when they returned wearing their tuxes. Mike had a tophat! I loved that! The ceremony was supposed to start at 5:45 but like all good weddings, the bride took a little longer to get ready. 6:00 went by and we still weren't quite there but by around 6:15 we were ready to go!

Vienna, her dad, the best man, Tom and the maid of honor, Alexis (who are also dating and may hear wedding bells, themselves one day) Tristan, (Mike's nephew and ring bearer) and Reese, (Mike's sister) all waited behind the curtain in the chapel while little Scarlette, (Mike's 1-year-old niece) was cajoled into getting ready to walk down the aisle. She was adorable in her little white poofy dress and though didn't really spread any flowers down the aisle (she did hold a couple of petals in her hand the whole time) she actually made it all the way down the aisle without wandering off! Tristan was great as the ring bearer and looked so handsome in his tux. Tom and Alexis were perfect as they glided down the aisle.

Oh my gosh, I didn't mention the harp!! Probably my favorite part about the ceremony other than the couple themselves was that Mike and Vienna's friend Marinda Mitchell flew in from Seattle to play the harp for the ceremony. Ahhh, the sound of that harp as we waited for it all to start was so soothing and lovely. And I just know that as she started playing Pachelbel's Canon while Vienna started down the aisle, that's when my emotions started coming.

I didn't think I would but I cried through the whole thing! From the minute Vienna walked down the aisle to the harp music and I saw Mike's face when he first saw her, to the lovely reading by Rita, the officiant about hands, to the personal vows Mike and Vienna read to each other to the so-sweet tender kiss at the end. And then when Rita presented them as husband and wife, I lost it even more! One of the video cameras caught me grabbing and holding Andy as I wept - what a baby! The whole thing was wonderful. I don't usually cry out of joy but this was overwhelming. I guess I had to because I couldn't jump up and down squeeling. And the KISS! It was the most beautiful kiss I've ever seen!

Once the ceremony was over, the stress began - no, I wasn't stressed until this point when I realized I had 20 minutes until the time they wanted us out of the church to clean out everything - the decorations, arch, pipe/drapes and all our stuff in the dressing room and also take pictures. The light was fading fast so that was the priority. I went back and forth a bit scrambling around to get everything done. After pictures I realized that Vienna and Mike's friends from school were hanging out and chatting so I recruited them to help. As always they were right on it and were stars! Thank you Chanda, Colin and Jessica! I've always loved Vienna's friends - they're the best! Together we got everything out by 7:05, just in time for the custodian to take over. Whew!

 Then it was time to get the heck out of there and over to I Love Sushi. We were already later than I thought we were, plus Vienna and Mike were basically done with pictures since we lost the light so they left right behind us. I was hoping to have like 20 minutes at least to decorate the room and set up a slide show, which never happened. I got there and there were people already hanging around waiting for something to happen. I had only enough time to put flowers on the table, give the servers some instructions and answer a bunch of questions from people before Mike and Vienna came in.

They were wearing their Mickey Mouse bride and groom ears! So cute! I was a bit stressed for a while and disappointed that some things didn't work out like I'd wanted, but I moved forward and got the video cam set up to record the festivities. It wasn't long before food started coming out, people started eating and we were making toasts with Martinelli's. Vienna and Mike sat at a table on the stage where we could admire their cuteness the rest of the night.

We interspersed toasts with some karaoke and everything was wonderful and so much fun. The best man, Tom started off with his toast. Afterward Andy gave a great toast and then through the night several others toasted, including me, Mike's mom, Alexis, Reese (his sister) and other friends. They all said such lovely things about each of them and I was more impressed with Mike than ever. I was so happy to hear things that convinced me he is in this marriage for the long-haul. He'll make her happy and that made me happy.  We all felt the love.

 

The singing was a blast! Vienna and Mike started off with their "first song" (instead of a first dance since neither of them like to dance). They sang Journey's Don't Stop Believing - a perfect choice! We all loved it! Afterward, Andy convinced Mike to sing AC/DC's Back in Black which he did and very well! Vienna, Andy and I sang Love Shack which was awesome. Vienna and I sang our Wicked Medley which included the witche's hat that I had bought on Friday and was super-awesome! Vienna and Mike also each had a song they sang for the other: Vienna sang Dream a Little Dream of Me and Mike Sang the Hawaiian version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. During that number, little Scarlette wanted to get on stage with Mike so he picked her up and sang with her in his arms - it was so sweet!!  Lori did a lovely a capella version of Simple Man and I sang what turned out to be a weird version of We've Only Just Begun. It was all poppish and had images of people setting things on fire but hopefully the sentiment got across. Vienna, Alexis and Jessica sang Sk8ter Boi from when they were in 6th grade. And the last song of the night? Mike invited everyone who wanted to come up and sing Bohemian Rhapsody. We had almost everyone up there and what a great time it was! It was the most fun wedding reception I've ever been to.

Once they kicked us out, we gathered all our stuff and went on home with hugs and well-wishes all around. I was exhausted but elated. It was a near-perfect day and I will remember it as one of the best days of my entire life - right up there with my own wedding and Vienna's birth.

Since that day, I've been floating a little on air and smiling a little more than usual.  I think what moves me most is that I have new family members, especially a son-in-law, whom I will probably think of as a son of my own. He's a wonderful guy and I know he will take good care of my little girl. He is stubborn when he puts his mind to something and he has committed to Vienna so I know he'll stick around. They are so happy and they just glow when they're together. I'm so excited for the two of them! Their next step is a honeymoon at Disneyland!

Free Agency and the New Year

I was recently given the opportunity to speak in church. The topic assigned was free agency, a very important principle in the LDS faith. I thought I'd edit it a bit for a blogpost. The talk went over very well and it's a perfect topic for the new year. Yes, it is religious and talks about religious topics so be warned. But, you can also apply this idea to your life, even if you don't believe in "sin" per se. Anyay, here you go:

In this time of the New Year, it is a time of reflection on the past and planning for the future. We have the opportunity to renew our goals and our efforts to become better people. My topic today is free agency and I think it's a perfect topic for this time of year.

Free agency is an amazing gift from God. It's the privilege we have to choose for ourselves to be accountable for our choices. It is a central part of God's plan for us in our lives.

It's only through this gift that we are able to progress, learning from our choices and our mistakes. We could not learn if our choices were made for us. Without it, there really is no purpose to life because we were sent here to learn and be tested by the decisions we make. To help us make the right choices, God has given us other gifts such as the light of Christ or our conscience, which is everyone's ability to know right from wrong, good from evil. And of course He has given us the greatest gift - the atonement of Jesus Christ which allows for redemption from our sins - our bad decisions - if we repent.

I love how the plan works. There is a law we must follow. We can choose whether or not to follow that law. We reap the consequences of our choices - it's that simple. For example one of the ten commandments is "Thou shalt not steal". If we disobey that law, the consequences are arrest and jail, or at least, a life of deception, hiding and guilt. But, if we obey that law, the consequences are that we are free to continue our lives and make other choices. Galatians 6:7 says: Be not adeceived; God is not bmocked: for whatsoever a mancsoweth, that shall he also dreap". We are free to choose our actions but, we are not free to choose the consequences. To quote the Simpsons "You choose fruit, you live with fruit".

Another important aspect of free agency is opposition. This is another important LDS teaching: there exists good and evil, right and wrong. This principle was taught by Lehi, in the Book of Mormon. As he was dying, he said this to his son:

"For it must needs be, that there is an aopposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. " (2 Nephi 2: 11 ).

Lehi said that even in the garden of Eden there was opposition: "even the dforbiddenefruit in fopposition to the gtree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter. " (2 Nephi 2: 15)

He taught that there needed to be opposition specifically SO THAT people could act for themselves: "Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should aact for himself. Wherefore, man could not bact for himself save it should be that he was centiced by the one or the other." (2 Nephi 2: 16)

So, there has to be something to entice us in opposite directions or else there's really no choice to make and thus we lose free agency. Opposition allows for our choices to be meaningful. So, if you ever wonder why there is evil in the world - this is why. There has to be evil to properly test our ability to choose.

The ironic part of free agency is that when we choose to follow God's commandments, we actually have more freedom. Many will think that the LDS church is too restrictive with all the rules we have to follow. But the opposite is really true. 2 Nephi 2:27 says "And they are free to echoose fliberty and eternal glife, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be hmiserable like unto himself." Our Gospel Principles manual has a great example of this. Imagine we're on a beach and there is a warning sign, telling you to stay out of the water because of a dangerous whirlpool. We then have two choices - to follow the sign or ignore it. If we obey and stay out of the water, we still have many choices. We can walk along the beach, search for seashells, sunbathe or build a sandcastle. But, if we disobey the sign, go into the water and get caught in the whirlpool, we have very few choices. We can hope that we're strong enough to pull ourselves out of the whirlpool or that someone will come along and save us. Otherwise, our only other choice is to drown and that's really not a choice at all. See my point? This example is true for any of God's laws. So, of course making good choices to begin with is the best way to go.

But what if we are already trapped by previous wrong choices? It could be by an addiction to substances, bad habits that we can't kick or anything we feel like we can't stop in our lives and are destructive.

Sometimes things seem impossible to overcome. But, I believe that we still have our agency and can make a choice to change and do something different.

Elder Robert D Hales, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the LDS church, spoke in the October 2010 General Conference and described this like this, "Whenever we disobey, we spiritually paint ourselves into a corner and are captive to our choices. Though we are spiritually stuck, there is always a way back. Like repentance, turning around and walking across a newly varnished floor means more work—a lot of resanding and refinishing! Returning to the Lord isn’t easy, but it is worth it."

Think about something in your life that is keeping you from being closer to God, or your family, or your goals in life. What choices can you make to escape that thing? You can choose whether or not to take that next drink. Or exactly how you will react to someone who has frustrated you. Or whether or not to eat that next sweet. Or whether or not to think sexual thoughts about that attractive person or look at that inappropriate website. Or whether or not to say yes to someone when you are already over booked and haven't spent enough time with your family. Or whether or not to forgive someone who has wronged you. We can choose to overcome something destructive in our lives, no matter how difficult or insurmountable it seems.

Sometimes you need help - get it! Don't wait and don't let the stigmas of the world dissuade you. Don't believe that crap that it means you're weak or it's somehow shameful. Seeking help when you need it is the most noble and great thing you can do. You can meet with your Bishop/Priest/Pastor or other religious leader. You can join an addiction recovery group like AA, seek help from a friend or family member or find a counselor who can help you. If you're in over your head, just find help somewhere. Heck, even posting your weight loss goals and victories is a great way to keep on track. Whatever it is - just do it.

Also, stop rationalizing or making excuses for mistakes. People do this all the time to deny or delay making the change. King Saul did this after conquering the Amalekites. God told him to "utterly destroy all that they had". But instead, he let people keep some oxen and sheep for sacrifice, rationalizing that he was doing a good thing. But Samuel reminded him that "to obey is better than sacrifice". (1 Samuel 15:122)

Elder Quentin L Cook, a member of the LDS Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said in a BYU–Idaho devotional in 2006. "Rationalization for bad choices will not be effective, but repentance will. Those who repent will be particularly blessed by the Atonement. Without the Atonement, the eternal principle of justice would require punishment (see Alma 42:14). Because of the Atonement, mercy can prevail for those who have repented and allow them to return to the presence of God"

Which brings us to the most amazing gift that we have: Christ's atonement. The LDS church believes that once we learn how to use the Atonement in our lives, through true repentance, it can be a great tool to help us overcome these negative things in our lives. Doctrine and Covenants 19: 16 says, " For behold, I, God, have asuffered these things for all, that they might not bsuffer if they would crepent."

Repentance means different things to different people or religions but my take on it is that it's a process whereby we recognize and regret an action, we confess it to God or a church leader, if necessary, we sincerely apologize and make amends where at all possible and then, most importantly, we never do that thing again. This last part is the hard part and some things may take us a life time to truly give up. But don't give up! True repentance and change will bring forgiveness from God, freedom from our bad choices and real peace and joy in our lives.

This new year time is perfect for this kind of reflection and resolving to make better choices in the coming year. God has given us each the power to overcome these things in our lives, using our free agency and the Atonement and He is there to help us. I hope that we can all take full advantage of this turning of the year to use our free agency to choose those things that will bring true joy and peace to our lives, leaving behind the negative choices that only serve to hold us captive. I believe God has put us on this Earth to do this and to become the people He knows we can become. God bless everyone and Happy New Year!

One Mormon's Perspective on the Musical "Book of Mormon"

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to see the broadway musical, "The Book of Mormon". I wasn't planning to write a review, but since I had several Facebook comments wondering why a Mormon, like myself, who professes to have a strong testimony and tries to be a good member of the church, would spend any amount of money to see something that makes fun of our religion and things that we hold sacred. Well, I was a little surprised by the response and so felt that I had a bit of responsibility to give an honest and, above all, objective review.


My first instinct was to defend my decision to see it, so I wanted to find all the good in the play that I could, thus justifying my viewing what I knew would be an 'R' rated play. My next instinct was to defend my church and religion against the ridicule that no longer seems to come to any other race or religion on earth. I'm wondering now why this would not be my first instinct, but maybe that's because I'm weaker and more selfish than I think. But, I also don't believe my church needs defending. It is strong enough and stable enough on its own. So the best way to balance these two is to be as objective as I possibly can be - as I try to be in all of my writings and opinions.

To begin with, let me say that this production was neither all bad nor all good when it comes to its representation of the church or in its offensive material, as most Mormons would probably think. I have to say ”most Mormons” because there are some who did not find this play offensive and I don't get offended easily, so I need to try to look at it from the perspective of what I THINK most Mormons would.

Let's first start with basic offensive material. There was definitely plenty of that. If you are put off by vulgarity, this is not your play. I, unfortunately, have been desensitized over the years to a lot of crude humor, so I do not get sickened by it like others might, though I do cringe. Hopefully, one day I will be in a different place in my life or have the stronger will to avoid such inappropriateness. So sensitive Mormons or others, alike - do not bring children and do not see this play. It is technically not appropriate for any age. But, would you expect anything else from the makers of South Park?

Now, on to how it treats the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints... it is a mixed bag and takes on several aspects of the church, both positively and negatively. On the positive side, the play treats missionaries with a lot of respect and keeps the integrity of the Mormon characters mostly intact, even showing them wearing "garments", though anyone who's ever actually seen garments could tell they weren't real. All of the missionaries are basically good people and good Mormons, trying their hardest to do their best. My favorite example of this is Elder Cunningham, the nerdy doofus who wants so much to fit in and do the right thing but just can't get it right. He is so earnest that he tells his companion that he's a habitual liar (or very imaginative) and later reveals that weakness when he has to teach the African villagers on his own. He wants so much to convert them that the lies he tells about Joseph Smith don't seem so bad. He is adorable in his innocent mistake. But even his companion, Elder Price, who is vexed with a superiority complex and expectations that God will answer his prayer and send him to Orlando, is only trying to do his very best at being a missionary. It's only when he seems to be failing, in his eyes, that he succumbs to his weaknesses, abandoning his mission and leaving Elder Cunningham on his own. In the song, "I Believe", Elder Price shows his true testimony. Even though the lyrics betray the biases of the writers, his love of the gospel is pure and true.

I must trust that my Lord is mightier

And always has my back.

Now I must be completely devout

I can't have even one shred of doubt...



I Believe; that the Lord, God, created the universe

I Believe; that He sent His only Son to die for my sins

And I Believe; that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to America

I am a Mormon

And a Mormon just believes

(I Believe Lyrics)



Although I haven't been on a mission myself, nor have I been really close to anyone who has gone on a mission so that I have heard about the details of missionary life, I think that the play gave a fairly honest portrayal of missionary life, despite some details being wholly inaccurate. For example, missionaries do not get their companions in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) or stay with them for the duration of the mission as the play implies. They also find out well in advance of going to the MTC where they will serve their mission. But, without those changes, we couldn't have the great scene when Elder Price and Elder Cunningham are paired up, much to the chagrin of Elder Price. Nor could we see their completely different reactions to their assignment in Africa. These scenes were charming. Also, mission presidents do not get furious with a group of missionaries, dissolve an area and then send them all home, as was portrayed in the second act.

But, from what I do know, missionaries struggle with disappointment and discouragement and sometimes want to give up and go home or ask for a transfer. They are sometimes matched with a companion that they don't get along with or don't understand. They also often have to hide their disappointments and put on a brave, happy face, so that they can get the work done of sharing their message. To this point, there was another song that was interesting. And, if it had made this point more accurately, I would have liked it better. But, instead of illustrating missionaries putting aside their frustrations temporarily, the song "Turn it Off" assumed that all Mormons bury negative feelings and sinful desires all the time. Here are a few of its lyrics:

When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend Steve Blade,

He and I were close as two friend could be

One thing led to another, and soon I would discover,

I was having really strange feelings for Steve



I thought about us, on a deserted Island

We'd swim naked in the sea, and then he'd try and...



WOAH! Turn it off, like a light switch,

there its gone! (Good for you!)

My hetero side just won!

I'm all better now,

Boys should be with girls that's heavenly fathers plan

So if you ever feel you rather be with a man,

Turn it off.

(Turn it off Lyrics)

For the record, for those of you who are not Mormon - this is NOT a Mormon trick. In my experience, we are not taught to bury our feelings, though there are times when this happens and that is a shame. To the play's great credit, though there is a small part after this song where Elder Price tells the gay missionary that it's ok to be gay as long as he doesn't act on it. I applaud the writers for adding this as it is still something the church is grappling with in the public eye and getting better at, I might add. It would have been an easy target after the church's stance against gay marriage legislation, but the writers took the high road, here.

I also loved the scene with Elder Cunningham having to gird his loins so that he could continue on his mission without his companion. The closing scene of the first act includes the song "Man Up", a genuine portrayal of a missionary having to find his courage in the face of hardship. What missionary hasn't had to "Man Up". Here are some of its lyrics:

What did Jesus do when they sentenced him to die?

Did he try to run away? Did he just break down and cry?

No, Jesus dug down deep, knowing what he had to do

When faced with his own death, Jesus knew that he had to



Man up, he had to man up

So he crawled up on that cross, and he stuck it out

And he manned up, Christ, he manned up

And taught us all what real manning up is about

Man Up Lyrics

Overall, the Mormon missionaries are all honest, eager to share the gospel and believe that prayers are answered and that they are doing God's work. These are all admirable things that I think the writers get right. But, it is obvious that there are things they don't fully understand and thus they make light of them or mock them outright.

One of the things Mormons tend to believe fully is that prayers are answered. They may not be answered in the way we want, but they are answered in the way that is best for us. The writers don't really get this concept, so when Elder Price was sent to a remote village in Uganda, instead of Orlando, for which he has prayed since he went there as a child and knew it was just like heaven, we are left to wonder if God really does answer prayers. For those of any faith that understand this concept, this isn't a major faux pas, but it does contribute to the overall feeling of disregard to our beliefs. It is a bit of a zing to religion, in general, not just Mormonism.

Then there's the spooky hell dream. Apparently, according to the writers, whenever Mormons do something wrong, their guilt gives them spooky hell dreams. So of course when Elder Price takes off shortly after arriving in Uganda, his dream of waking up in Orlando becomes a spooky hell dream, complete with a huge red, winged Satan, demons committing vulgar acts with people like Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer, dancing Starbucks cups and really fun music. I loved the portrayal of Satan, especially when he pulled out the electric guitar and started jamming. But, it has to be said that Mormons, as a rule, do not have spooky hell dreams. We don't even view hell in this way. For us, hell is a separation from God, Christ and our family and a stopping of our eternal progress. However, I understand that the writers needed a really big crazy number for the second act, and who doesn't like watching red-sequined demons dancing around doing things I won't mention here? Ok, most Mormons don't... details.

Since I chose to focus on how this play treats the religion of Mormonism, I haven't really talked about its portrayal of Uganda and the villagers. Suffice it to say that they are not portrayed much better. They are caricatures of what we might think uneducated, simple people might be like in an area dominated by warlords with extremely crude names and infused with the AIDS epidemic and genital mutilation. It's an extremely sad situation that is again made light of. But, remember, these are the creators of South Park, they are not going to put a serious spin on anything. And none of the problems are solved, except of course that the evil warlord is converted to the church in the end. But, of course, simply the mention of these things does create some awareness or a reminder of these problems that do exist. Now if they would actually highlight some of the things the church actually does in Africa, that would be nice.

Probably the biggest off-putting theme in the play, and the one that is the least surprising, is the all-out mocking of the church's history and the accounts of Joseph Smith and how the church was restored. First, vignettes throughout the play portray scenes from our history: Moroni burying the history of his people, carved on golden plates, in ancient America, in a way that made it seem weird and as if it were somehow impossible; Joseph Smith seeing the Angel Moroni and digging up the plates "from his backyard", which isn't true or complete and thus ignoring the fact that God led his family to that area of the country specifically, so he'd be near where the plates were buried, and showing Smith having been shot asking why God never allowed him to show the plates to anyone, making it nearly impossible to believe without faith. His dying words are something along the lines of maybe that's how God wanted it, but he says it in a mocking tone. This last bit ignores the fact that there were indeed 11 other people who saw the plates and testified of their existence throughout their lives. I am sure that the writers intended these misrepresentations to add to the humor of the play and while none are too damaging, they certainly perpetuate the myths among society about our history. So I did not appreciate any of these vignettes.

These scenes make our historical stories seem ridiculous, which was their intention. They continued this theme in the main plot of the play, as well. When Elder Cunningham is left alone to fend for himself with the villagers, not having actually read the Book of Mormon before, he makes up stories from it and church history to tell the villagers. These stories answer some of the villagers' problems with AIDS, genital mutilation and evil warlords and help them have hope (and entertainment). But, of course, none of them are true and they are all outlandish and vulgar. In the end (spoiler alert), after the missionary president dissolves their area and releases them all from their mission, they continue teaching these same stories to others, without correction. The play ends as it begins with "missionaries" knocking on doors and greeting people, but now, instead of sharing the Book of Mormon, they share the Book of Arnold (Elder Cunningham), and all of its new stories, which brings happiness to everyone. So the *moral* of the story is that it doesn't matter how ridiculous the teachings are, as long as they make people happy.

On the surface, this seems innocuous enough but it perpetuates the idea that Mormon history and the true accounts within it are ridiculous. Now I get that this is how a lot of non-Mormon society sees us; good-natured dupes who believe in crazy things that couldn't possibly have happened, so I'm not too offended by the whole thing. But again, I'm not offended easily, so I'm not a good barometer. But, if you are sensitive to these kinds of themes, then this play is not for you. And, it speaks to religion in general as a bunch of stories that maybe people made up to make everyone feel better- opiate of the masses, right? Maybe Mormonism was just the safest religion to pick on because people in any other one would have been in an uproar over it - or worse, attacked an embassy.

As a side note, my question to everyone who thinks this about Mormons is why are our stories any more ridiculous than Noah's Arc, Christ rising from the tomb or even the Big Bang? None of these have any proof either and are just as unbelievable as angels and golden plates - maybe more-so. Yet people believe them, and if they don't believe them, they at least don't mock them. Maybe it's because it all started with a 14-year-old boy and that still doesn't sit well with people. Or perhaps the other stories are so ingrained in our culture that they aren't strange enough. Oh well, I can't explain everything.

But, I can sum this review up by saying, this play was very entertaining and tried to balance the offensive material with complimentary matter. Mormons, see it at your own risk but I totally respect anyone who would refuse. One reason I wanted to see it, besides extreme curiosity, was so that I could be educated enough to give an opinion that was based on experience rather than hearsay. Hopefully, my review has helped some of you justify your decision to see it or not see it. But, mostly, I hope those who are not members of the church are more curious about the church because of the Book of Mormon musical and maybe some of the things I've said. I believe that anything that gets people talking about the church is a good thing because eventually they will start asking real Mormons questions, so they can get the truth - not just what a couple of writers say in hopes of getting some laughs.

I took the "Big Five Personality Test". I love these things. But, I'm bummed because it says I'm closed minded and not very conscientious. :-( It says I'm closed-minded because I'm not very creative - which I totally agree. I'm not creative, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to new ideas - I just don't come up with them myself.

I kindof agree that, by nature, I'm not very conscientious. I've worked very hard to overcome my lazy streak - at least where necessary. I think, though, that I get my job done and done well - as evidenced by good reviews at work and that we haven't gone bankrupt because of poor money-management. But, I do still have some work to do - as evidenced by the fact that I lost a foster cat this week.

So, I guess this was a good learning experience. On the plus side, it also says that I am very extroverted, agreeable and not at all neurotic. So, I'm on the right track in some ways.

Here are my results, if you're interested.
I'm a O5-C35-E86-A93-N5 Big Five!!

And, here is the "Big Five Personality Test" if you want to take it for yourself. Oh, and you can take it for other people. So, if you happen to take it for me (and I'd love to see what people think about me), then, please send me the results. And if you want me to take it for you - let me know.

About Voting and God

I've been thinking lately (oh no, not again!- commence eye-rolling sequence) about voting, of course. You know a lot of my friends are religious and, like me, prayed hard about who to vote for in this election. I am sure that they were all just as worthy of personal revelation as me - if not more so. So, my question is why would we come up with different answers? Why did I and some of my friends feel the Spirit tell us to vote for President Obama, while others were absolutely sure He was telling them to vote for Governor Romney? How could this be? Surely God knows who would be best for this country. So if we're worthy to get the right answer and He knows that answer, why would He tell some people one thing and others another?


Well, I have a theory (as usual). What if who we voted for didn't matter so much to the country, but mattered more to ourselves personally? What if God sees our voting as a personal growth experience for each of us, rather than simply a way to choose our next President?

My theory is based on a couple of principles that I've grown up with in the Mormon faith. One is that God is in charge. No matter what happens in this election, good or bad, or in most anything in life, it is because it's part of His plan. Now, that doesn't mean that He wants bad things to happen to us - murderers to kill, plane crashes or hurricanes to come and make us unhappy or an evil dictator to take over our country. It means that they all have a purpose - usually to teach us something. We can't comprehend His purposes most of the time but eventually we get out of our experiences what we need, assuming we have the right attitude and handle them properly. So, given this, no matter who wins - God is in charge and it's what is best for our country and us in it. EVEN if Obama wins, brings our country into a Socialist society and becomes the next Hitler, as some right-wingers have suggested, God has some sort of purpose in mind for us and it's what He meant to happen. Maybe that's a copout, as my hubby might say, but I believe it. Actually, I think that God isn't going to affect the outcome of the race, at all. I think that He will allow whoever we choose to win so that we reap the consequences, good or bad, and learn from that. Either way, God is in charge.

Given that, it doesn't really matter to God who we vote for, in terms of the outcome of the race. What is more important to Him is what we learn from our own experience in voting, which brings us to the second principle that I've grown up with. And that is that this Earth is a school and, as His children, we are the most important part of it. One of the major facets of God's plan is for us to learn as we go so that we can become the person He wants us to become. So, as we take this election seriously, read, watch the news and listen to our friends, we take all that information, the culture we grew up with and all of the words, quirks and advice from the niches of opinion around us and we come up with our own opinion. Then, most importantly, we go to God for advice. And God is so happy that we've gone to Him for help that He wants to reward us with the best learning experience we can get. So, if that means confirming what we've learned as our opinion so that we stay on that particular track towards who we are becoming, then great! But, if it means maybe giving us a surprise answer, differing from what we have been thinking, then maybe that is a lesson in and of itself. It doesn't matter who the exact person is, it just matters what we are getting from the whole experience. That's what matters to Him - just whatever we can get from this experience to bring us closer to Him. Each individual child of His on this earth is more important to Him than all the elections in the history of the world. And, our getting closer to returning to Him is His biggest goal for all of us on this Earth.

So, when you reflect on this election and its outcome, remember that God loves each and every one of us, no matter who we voted for. And, that we are all in the same boat, here on Earth, learning and hopefully becoming who God intends for us to be. Don't be upset with your crazy tea party, right-wing nutcase friend, or your insane lefty communist friend just because they didn't vote the same as you. Remember that we are all on the same journey but on different paths. And our paths are what is best for us and God loves us all the same. As long as we end up in the same place- back up with Him, that is all that matters.